afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize