come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
