I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
