Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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