I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
