her vagine was all disorganized.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
