I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
