I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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