No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
