She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
