If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
