I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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