Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
