I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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