You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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