Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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