Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
