Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
