I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
