I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
