I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
