I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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