what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
