yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
