so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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