Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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