When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Randomize
