when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
