that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
