Jerry, you need to find god
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
