We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
