I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
