are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
