Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it was like his penis was on wheels.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
