What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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