you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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