She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Houston, we have a squirter
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
