I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
