ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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