Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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