Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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