Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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