Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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