Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
