when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
