If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
