Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
