drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
