I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
