Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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