This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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