So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
