I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
