I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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