I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
