After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
