The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
