never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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