absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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