check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
