i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
