We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
