Nicole vs. Life
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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