the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
