i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
