Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i barfeds in our rink
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
